How 3 words change your life
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I wish I had the courage to live life true to myself and not according to the expectations and wishes of others. Now, not living life true to oneself is one of the top regrets of the elderly according to Bronnie Ware's famous book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying". And I think we've all been there - situations where we've given up on ourselves before we even started, telling ourselves that we can't and then, well, then we won't. We live up to our own self-made prophecy.
我真希望自己有勇气去过忠于自我的生活，而不是依照他人的期望和意愿来生活。如今，根据布朗妮・韦尔（Bronnie Ware）所著的著名书籍《临终前最后悔的五件事》，没能过上忠于自我的生活是老年人最大的遗憾之一。而且我觉得我们都有过这样的经历 —— 在还没开始尝试之前就放弃了自己，告诉自己做不到，然后，好吧，结果就是我们真的做不到了。我们应验了自己给自己设下的预言。
I grew up in Germany. I moved to a small town when I was a child, the type of small town where even 10 years later people still consider you an outsider. And I was a misfit. My dreams of making it big, traveling the world and moving abroad - they were seen as fairy tale beliefs, as ridiculous, maybe even as an offense. And I was told that I can't, that people like us can't. Now, for a long time in my life, that used to be my go-to excuse - for big dreams and small ones alike. I told myself that I can't. Their prophecy became my own until I decided to change.
我在德国长大。小时候我搬到了一个小镇，那是那种即便过了 10 年，人们仍会把你当作外来者的小镇。我与周围格格不入。我那些想要出人头地、环游世界以及移居国外的梦想，被视作童话般的幻想，很荒唐，甚至被当成一种冒犯。而且别人告诉我，我做不到，像我们这样的人是做不到的。在我人生的很长一段时间里，这一直是我惯用的借口 —— 无论是面对远大梦想还是微小愿望时都是如此。我告诉自己我做不到。他们的那种论断成了我自己的想法，直到我决定做出改变。
Now I can still remember that moment as vividly as if it was yesterday. I was walking through the small forest in spring, a breeze flowing around me, circulating flower petals all in the air. I felt as if I was in some sort of movie because that was the very moment I had some sort of epiphany. I was fresh out of high school and I knew exactly what was expected of me. It almost felt as if my entire life had been written out by someone else - I have to study, I have to find a stable job, marry and have children. But at the age of 19, that is not exactly what I want to do. I want to travel the world and I want to learn about life, people and myself. And I'm so young and hopeful and creative and full of ideas, and yet again I am met with an all too familiar reality - I'm told that I can't, that people like me can't. But I don't want to be confined by what other people want my life to look like. So in that very moment, standing in this small forest surrounded by all these pink, beautiful flower petals, I start entertaining a single thought: how can I? And I will.
现在我仍能清晰地记得那个时刻，仿佛就发生在昨天。那是春天，我正穿过一片小树林，微风在我身边吹拂，花瓣在空中四处飘散。我感觉自己仿佛置身于电影之中，因为就在那一刻，我突然有所顿悟。那时我刚高中毕业，清楚地知道别人对我的期望是什么。我几乎感觉自己的整个人生都已经被别人规划好了 —— 我得去读书，得找一份稳定的工作，结婚生子。但在 19 岁的时候，那并不是我真正想做的事。我想要环游世界，我想要了解生活、了解他人、了解自己。我当时那么年轻，充满希望、富有创造力且满脑子想法，然而我又一次面临着再熟悉不过的现实 —— 别人告诉我我做不到，像我这样的人做不到。但我不想被别人期望我的生活该有的样子所束缚。所以就在那个时刻，站在这片被粉色美丽花瓣环绕的小树林里，我开始萌生了一个念头：我怎样才能做到呢？而且我一定要做到。
I decide that I want to travel first. So I start researching visa requirements, cost of living, airplane ticket - all these things that I had absolutely nothing to do with until that time. I researched it, I made a plan, I executed it and two months later I'm sitting in an airplane to South Korea all alone at 19 years old, barely able to speak Korean, knowing full well that just speaking English isn't exactly going to be enough and with just enough money in my pockets to last me for roughly two months. The thought that I can was still just a concept inside of my mind - it was unproven, but I am determined to prove them and my own doubts wrong. And it works out. I stay for the entire duration of my Visa - 12 months in total. I even travel to Thailand and Japan. I pick up different odd jobs and ultimately even get my first real job as a marketing manager.
我决定先去旅行。于是我开始研究签证要求、生活成本、机票价格 —— 所有这些在那之前我完全没接触过的东西。我做了调研，制定了计划，然后付诸行动。两个月后，我 19 岁，独自一人坐在飞往韩国的飞机上，几乎不会说韩语，心里很清楚仅仅会说英语是远远不够的，而且口袋里的钱只够我维持大概两个月的生活。我能做到这件事在当时还只是我脑海中的一个概念 —— 尚未得到验证，但我决心要证明他们以及我自己的疑虑是错的。结果证明我做到了。我在签证有效期内一直待在那儿 —— 总共待了 12 个月。我甚至还去了泰国和日本旅行。我做了各种各样的零工，最后还得到了我的第一份正式工作，成为了一名营销经理。
I come back to Germany and I'm full of motivation. I moved to a large city, found a company and my team, my co-founders and I, we make it work. By the age of 22, I'm already able to fulfill one of my dreams - living my passion by leading products and teams in Tech. And now, just a few years later, I'm so grateful to be in a position where I can support other people on their journey by asking myself how can I. I even gave myself the chance to prove that I can and I gave myself the chance to live life true to myself.
我回到德国后，充满了动力。我搬到了一个大城市，找到了一家公司，组建了我的团队，我和我的联合创始人一起把事业做了起来。到 22 岁的时候，我已经能够实现自己的一个梦想了 —— 在科技领域带领产品团队，做着自己热爱的事。而如今，仅仅过了几年，我很庆幸自己处在一个能够通过问自己 “我怎样才能做到” 来帮助其他人踏上他们人生旅途的位置。我甚至给了自己证明自己能行的机会，也给了自己过上忠于自我的生活的机会。
Now, finding out how you can, it is quite the exciting journey and it's not an easy one, but it is so worth it. First, we need to clearly identify what it is that we want in life. But just knowing what you want is not enough. You have to dig a little bit deeper. Perhaps you're familiar with Simon Sinek's famous TED Talk "Start with Why". And just like that, we also need to start with why. We need to ask ourselves why again and again and again until we get to the bottom of what it is what we truly desire in life. If you seek wealth and success because you're hoping that it will help you find love, perhaps it will serve you better to seek love instead.
现在，弄清楚自己怎样才能做到，这是一段相当令人兴奋的旅程，而且并不轻松，但非常值得。首先，我们需要清楚地确定自己在生活中想要的是什么。但仅仅知道自己想要什么是不够的，你还得再深入挖掘一下。也许你熟悉西蒙・斯涅克（Simon Sinek）那场著名的 TED 演讲《从 “为什么” 开始》。同样地，我们也需要从 “为什么” 开始。我们需要一遍又一遍地问自己为什么，直到弄清楚我们内心深处真正渴望的是什么。如果你寻求财富和成功是因为希望借此找到爱情，那么或许直接去追求爱情会更好。
But even when we understand our why, we get stuck so often. I've seen this many times firsthand. People having this Grand Vision of what they like life should be like but never really asking themselves how they can make it happen. It almost seems as if the fear gap of asking ourselves how is as big as the fear of taking action itself. If we don't ask ourselves how we can, we can tell ourselves that everything we want in life is just a fairy tale belief, that it is what it is and that nothing can be done. And that can be oddly comfortable because we get to offload an entire portion of responsibility. We also get to avoid some sort of pain. We don't ask someone that we like out on a date because we fear the rejection. We don't switch careers even though we don't like our current one because we fear the failure. And we don't live as our authentic self because we fear to be judged. But that also means that some decisions or even most decisions are going to be made for you and not by you, and that can often lead to regret.
但即便我们明白了自己的 “为什么”，我们也常常会陷入困境。我多次亲眼目睹过这种情况。人们对自己理想的生活有着宏伟的设想，但却从不真正去问自己怎样才能实现它。似乎问自己 “怎样做” 所面临的恐惧障碍和采取行动本身面临的恐惧一样大。如果我们不问自己怎样才能做到，我们就会告诉自己生活中想要的一切都只是童话般的幻想，就是这样了，什么也做不了。而这样反而会让人有一种奇怪的舒适感，因为我们可以卸下一大部分责任，还能避免某些痛苦。我们因为害怕被拒绝而不敢约自己喜欢的人出去；我们即便不喜欢当前的工作，也不敢换工作，因为害怕失败；我们因为害怕被评判而不敢活出真实的自我。但这也意味着有些决定，甚至大多数决定，将会由别人替你做出，而不是你自己做决定，这往往会导致遗憾。
Now that is not how it has to be. Like the things we desire, the change that we seek, it is always on the other side of our own comfort zone. Growth involves Growing Pains, but only if we take the step to ask ourselves how we can will we be able to find ways that we can. We might even realize that the reality that we created inside of our own mind is not the reality right in front of us and all around us. We might also realize that all the rejection and the failure and the Judgment that we feared so much is actually never going to happen.
现在情况并非只能如此。就像我们渴望的事物、我们寻求的改变，它们总是在我们的舒适区之外。成长伴随着成长的痛苦，但只有我们迈出询问自己 “怎样才能做到” 这一步，我们才能找到实现目标的方法。我们甚至可能会意识到，我们脑海中构想的现实并非眼前和身边真实存在的现实。我们或许还会意识到，我们如此害怕的拒绝、失败和评判，实际上根本不会发生。
Now whenever we're talking about change, we think we have to have a mindset change. I used to think the exact same thing, and perhaps you're thinking the same in this very moment - that you have to change your mindset. But the truth is as simple as it is hard. You need to take action because action equals motivation and action is active change. When I went to South Korea or when I started my first company, I was not sure that I can. I hadn't underwent some magical mindset change that gave me a 100% confidence score that I can do this. I just decided to take action because I didn't want these experiences letting me pass by. I decided to take action against my own doubts, against the doubts of everyone around me and maybe even against all others. But I gave myself the chance to learn how I can.
现在，每当我们谈到改变时，我们都会认为自己必须得改变心态。我曾经也是这么想的，也许此刻你也是这么想的 —— 认为自己必须改变心态。但事实就是这么简单却又艰难。你需要采取行动，因为行动等同于动力，行动就是积极的改变。当我去韩国或者创办我的第一家公司时，我并不确定自己能行。我并没有经历某种神奇的心态转变，让我有百分百的信心觉得自己能做到这件事。我只是决定采取行动，因为我不想错过这些经历。我决定不顾自己的疑虑、不顾身边所有人的疑虑，甚至可能不顾其他人的看法采取行动。但我给了自己去学习怎样做到的机会。
In the same sense, learning how you can consists of a step of actions. First, you have to decide what it is that you want to focus on. Now, it doesn't matter whether that's a big or a small thing. It doesn't have to be something that everyone else will perceive as grand. It is just important that it is something that you are really passionate about, something that you hold dear to your heart. And then don't even go down the entire Rabbit Hole of self-doubt. You don't even need to think about your goal in the context of whether you personally believe you can do it. You just want to entertain the thought how someone would go about achieving this. It's a little trick that's fairly effective, at least for me.
同样地，学习怎样做到包含一系列行动步骤。首先，你得决定自己想要专注的目标是什么。现在，目标大小并不重要，它也不一定得是别人眼中了不起的事，重要的是它得是你真正热爱、真心珍视的事。然后，不要陷入自我怀疑的深渊。你甚至都不需要从自己是否相信能做到这个角度去考虑你的目标。你只需思考别人会如何去实现这个目标就行。这是个挺有效的小窍门，至少对我来说是这样。
When I started my company, I didn't know anything about managing or starting a company at all. I didn't grow up in an entrepreneurial family and I didn't really have any mentors. So the only thing in that moment that I could do was look for any type of information about this topic. So I started reading through online articles, guides, YouTube videos and I collected all information that I could about how other people have done this. I even found a startup program where they teach you these type of things. And I listed down every single thing that I found and I researched every single item until I had a pretty good understanding of what it is that needs to be done in theory for a company to succeed.
我刚开始创办公司的时候，对管理公司或者创办公司的事一无所知。我并非成长在一个创业家庭，也没有真正的导师。所以当时我唯一能做的就是去寻找关于这个话题的各类信息。于是我开始阅读网上的文章、指南，观看 YouTube 视频，收集所有我能找到的关于其他人是如何做这件事的信息。我甚至还找到了一个创业项目，他们会教授这类知识。我把自己发现的每一件事都罗列下来，对每一项内容都进行研究，直到我从理论上对一家公司要取得成功需要做些什么有了相当清晰的了解。
After that, I had enough information to start setting milestones for myself and breaking them down into actions. For example, setting up the legal entity of a company could be a milestone and things such as finding a lawyer, preparing what questions you want to ask that lawyer and ultimately having the meeting with them and then have your follow-up items on your to-do list are potential things that you can do to make your dream come true step by step.
在那之后，我有了足够的信息来为自己设定阶段性目标，并将它们细化为具体行动。例如，成立公司的法定实体可以是一个阶段性目标，而诸如寻找律师、准备好要问律师的问题，最终与律师会面以及把后续事项列入待办清单，这些都是你可以采取的、能一步步实现梦想的具体行动。
Now no matter how big or small your goal is, the Baseline of this always stays the same. If you want to run a marathon for example, you're most likely not going to sign up for the marathon and run it without any prior training. You will most likely want to understand everything that is connected to this specific goal. How, when and where do marathons happen? What is your current Fitness level? How do you need to train? How often do you need to train? What do you need to eat in order to get fit enough? Perhaps you'd even like to enlist a personal coach that will help you make your plan. But ultimately the only way for it to turn into something real is by making this plan, by setting the milestones and by creating these daily action items so you can take a step towards your goal every single day. In terms of a marathon, perhaps that's doing some stretches or going for a run.
现在，无论你的目标是大是小，其基本准则都是一样的。比如，如果你想跑马拉松，你极大概率不会不做任何前期训练就去报名参赛然后开跑。你很可能会想要了解与这个特定目标相关的所有事情。马拉松在何时、何地举办？你目前的体能水平如何？你需要怎样训练？训练频率如何？为了达到足够的体能，你需要吃些什么？或许你甚至想聘请一位私人教练来帮你制定计划。但最终，要想把目标变为现实，唯一的办法就是制定计划、设定阶段性目标以及制定这些日常行动事项，这样你每天都能朝着目标迈出一步。就马拉松而言，也许就是做些拉伸运动或者出去跑一跑。
And no matter again how big or small it is that you want to do, as soon as you think it is impossible, you need to go through this process because that is how you make it possible. Starting a company seems impossible. Calling up a lawyer to get some information or a tax consultant very possible on the other hand. And that at the end of the day is the answer to how you can. You need to learn everything that comes with this goal and you need to turn it into an action plan and execute it. That is the answer to the question and that is also the blueprint to life itself.
而且，无论你想做的事是大是小，一旦你觉得它不可能实现，你就需要经历这个过程，因为这就是将其变为可能的方法。创办公司看似不可能，但另一方面，打电话给律师咨询信息或者联系税务顾问却是很容易做到的事。说到底，这就是 “怎样做到” 这个问题的答案。你需要了解与这个目标相关的所有事情，然后将其转化为行动计划并付诸执行。这就是这个问题的答案，也是生活本身的行动蓝图。
Now whenever we take the first step, honestly, it's super scary no matter how often you do it. But what is even scarier is having life pass you by. Because one thing is for sure, if you take a step ahead, show courage and go against your fears, you're not going to regret the courage that you've shown. But if you cower in front of your fear, you're most likely going to regret not living life true to yourself. So don't be your own prison. Don't tell yourself that you can't and don't let other people tell you what your life should look like. Instead, I'd like to challenge you on this very evening to ask yourselves: How can I?
现在，每当我们迈出第一步时，说实话，无论经历过多少次，这都会让人非常害怕。但更可怕的是让生活就这样从身边溜走。因为有一点是肯定的，如果我们勇敢地向前迈出一步，鼓起勇气，直面恐惧，我们就不会后悔自己展现出的这份勇气。但如果我们在恐惧面前退缩，我们很可能会后悔没有过上忠于自我的生活。所以，不要作茧自缚。不要告诉自己做不到，也不要让别人来告诉你你的生活应该是什么样的。相反，就在今晚，我想向你们发起挑战，问问自己：我怎样才能做到呢？
Vocabularies and expressions
prophecy /ˈpräfəsē/
We live up to our own self-made prophecy.
fairy tale beliefs, ridiculous, offense /əˈfens/
They were seen as fairy tale beliefs, as ridiculous, maybe even as an offense.
excuse
Now, for along time in my life, that used to be my go-to excuse.
breeze /brēz/ , petals
I was walking through the small forest in spring, a breeze flowing around me, circulating flower petals all in the air.
epiphany /əˈpifənē/
I felt as if I was in some sort of movie because that was the very moment I had sort of epiphany.
confined /kənˈfīnd/
I don't want to be confined by what other people want my life to look like.
visa
So I start researching visa requirements.
barely
Barely able to speak Korean.
roughly /ˈrəflē/
I know full well with just enough money in my pockets to last me for roughly two months.
unproven /ˌənˈpro͞ov(ə)n/
The thought that I can use still just a concept inside of my mind - it was unproven.
ultimately /ˈəltəmətlē/
I pick up different odd jobs and ultimately even get my first real job as a marking manager.
stuck
We get stuck so often.
offload
That can be oddly comfortable because we get to offload an entire portion of responsibility.
authentic /ôˈTHen(t)ik/
We don't live as our authentic self because we fear to be judged.
mindset
Now whenever we're talking about change, we think we have to have a mindset change.
underwent
I hadn't underwent some magical mindset change that give me a 100% confidence score that I can do this.
perceive (/pərˈsēv/) as grand
It doesn't have to be something that everyone else will perceive as grand.
hold dear to you heart.
It is just important that it is something that you re really passionate about, something that you hold dear to your heart.
entrepreneurial /ˌäntrəprəˈnərēəl/, mentor
I didn't grow up in an entrepreneurial family and I didn't really have any mentors.
in theory
I researched every single item util I had a pretty good understanding of what it is that needs to be done in theory for a company to succeed.
potential /pəˈten(t)SH(ə)l/
They are potential things that you can do to make your dream come true step by step.
enlist /inˈlist/
Perhaps you'd even like to enlist a personal coach that will help you make your plan.
In terms of a marathon
In terms of a marathon, perhaps that's doing some stretches or going for a run.
cower
If you cower in front of your fear, you're most likely going to regret not living life true to yourself.